I talked to one friend and she was like your absolutely right, break up with him. Well the thing about her is that she is single, which is new for her. I have to think about her motives and question why she is so adament about breaking up with him. Maybe because then we can both be single together?
Then, I talked to my sister. She told me I was being irrational. That just because he is spending one weekend without me doesnt mean he doesnt love me, that he needs 'guy' time otherwise he would go insane and if he wanted to spend all of his weekends with me, there would be something wrong.
Then, I talked to my friend anna who lives in the same town as him. And she got really quiet and was like well on saturday night he definately wasnt acting like he had a girlfriend. My heart sank. I asked what he was doing, she said she didnt remember, she was too drunk. Then she said she yelled at him and told him he needs to learn how to treat women blah blah.. I asked what his response was, she said she doesnt remember. Isnt that wierd? how can she only tell me a third of the story?
So then I called him. He said he thought it was funny I was getting my information from someone who couldnt even remember the story and that I didnt trust him. He said that I am a priority to him but if thats how I feel there is nothing he can do about it. Then, he said that on saturday he was talking to 3 females that he is strictly friends with. he said they are girls that he would introduce me to and that I would be friends with.
We talked later that night, he hung out with anna's boyfriend. He called me on his way home and told me they had a talk and that annas boyfriend was like I dont know why shes sticking her nose in your business, you really didnt do anything wrong she was super drunk and doesnt know what shes talking about.
So then, I thought this whole thing was over, and I trust him. Then last night happened. I was at a movie and annas boyfriend texted me asking something about the clothing store i work part time at. I wrote back and then I said ';if you dont mind me asking, could we talk about last saturday? im really confused and I want your take on the situation but if you dont want to be in the middle of it i understand'; he wrote back saying they never talked. Well actually, it was Anna texting me from Nicks phone, I just didnt know that at the time. So I got really upset and I called my boyfriend. He got really mad at me and was like that conversation was supposed to be between me and nick, I said I wouldnt say anything to you, and he said he wouldnt say anything to Anna! He told me he needed to get off the phone before he said something he didnt mean and that he would call me tomorrow (today) after work. Im freaking out that he wont call me, I know he is very very upset with me.
I'm just so so confused about all of this. First, someone isnt being truthful here because the stories dont match up. Also, Im mad at myself for letting all of these people get in my head and tell me what to do. I never shouldve even talked to Nick but further more, I shouldnt have told my boyfriend I talked to him. I apologized and now I dont know what else there is to do.
Am I being naive for believing my boyfriend? Should I just cut my losses? HELP!I need relationship advice?
If you really need to come on here for advice/help, you are DOOMED. Quit the relationship, go learn some life skills, and THEN start dating again.I need relationship advice?
Sometimes you just have to kickback and relax. Let It Be. Let this slide. Let things cool down. This may be just a blip. See how things work out.
After reading the first paragraph and lookin at the length of your question I can almost def conclude you're thinkin about it too much
whoa, whoa, whoa.
you really just need to chill for a second, and breathe.
to me, i don't think your boyfriend has done anything wrong. okay, he might of been talking to some girls, but he didn't try to hide it like he would of if he was guilty of something. he told you he spoke to some girls, friends of his %26amp; that he would also introduce you to them because he felt you'd get on well with them. he was thinking about you. as for Anna she was drunk, her account of what 'happened' doesn't really count in my opinion. i know you probably don't get to see your boyfriend much because of the 4 hour distance, but maybe he planned the hunting trip already before you %26amp; him made plans? it's just one night, right? you could always call him? and finally, of course your boyfriend is going to be upset with you, maybe if you call him %26amp; apologize things will work out? he probably feels like his personal space is being invaded, its not like he calls up your friends and asks about where you were and what you did right? i'd feel upset too if my boyfriend didn't trust me.i hope things work out though, you sound like a really nice person :)
This is a big mess. You are young and pretty. Find someone else. You need someone local and you need someone who will want to marry you. He may not be cheating on your right now, but it seems like he's playing the field a little bit... Who are these 3 girls? I only have one girl, that's my wife.
Let him go. There is already too much drama, anxiety and mistrust. It's obvious that something is going on. Either you can open your eyes and let go and move on to bigger and better things or else hold on to someone who seems to not sincerely care about the relationship. I was involved in a long distance relationship for over 3 years. It was very difficult and emotionally trying. The longer you stay in this, the harder it will be.
There are SO MANY men out there..... eventually Mr. Right will come along. If you don't let this man go, you may miss your opportunity for true and sincere love.
This does not sound like a healthy relationship for either of you. If you felt secure, you would not be having panic attacks. Trust your instincts. If he hadn't done anything wrong, he would have had a rational discussion about the situation with you rather than becoming defensive. He is acting guilty. He has no reason to be ';very upset with'; you. You've been given reasons to doubt and he hasn't made an effort to reassure you. It sounds like he wants out of the relationship but doesn't want to be the one to break it off. A solid relationship will not leave you panicked and wondering if he's cheating on you.
I think you need to sit down with your b/f and hash things out.
First of all, alarm bells go off because of the fact that the 4 hour distance between yourselves hasn't been addressed over the last three years.
Secondly, there seems to be trust issues. I don't know whether or not your b/f should be trusted, but in my experience where there's smoke , there's fire.
Thirdly, your self-confidence seems to be getting eroded by this whole situation. That isn't beneficial to you, and seeing that it's a direct result of your relationship, sheds a pall over your relationship.
I really encourage you to sit down with your b/f and discuss these problems. The fixes to these problems lie in open honest discussion, and the resulting direction that your relationship will take.
Relationships,even under the best of circumstances, require work. Your relationship definitely requires work right now.
1st. I agree with your sister...he needs time with his buddies and sometimes they can only get together for the weekends...My current bf broke up with his ex BC they were long distance and she would get really mad if there was even one weekend every once in a while that he wouldn't come see her!
2nd. You are showing your boyfriend that you don't trust him, BC if you did, none of that would have ven made you question anything, you would have just blown it off from the very first thing you heard and moved on. So there are obviously either insecurities or trust issues?? AND so he is getting frustrated with you BC of you not trusting him, he seems like he is handeling it well...and when he talked to your friends BF you should have also dropped it there...but you didn't you STILL didn't want to believe him and decided to talk to her BF ....
I'm really sorry to say, but unless you give him space to hang out with his buddies without making him feel guilty and unless you start trusting him and stop bringing or letting other people into your personal relationship it will not last. You need to trust that he wants and respects you, and in the end you will see it will work out...
the next time a friend does this he said she said he did she did bull crap ... try just phoning you bf and being like this is what she said, i wonder why she would say that, so annoying. And I bet you that will make him happy that you trust him and don't believe a girl who was obviously waay to drunk! And I know it is hard being apart from him soo much and it may seem like he doesn't care as much about seeing you as you do him BC he is making plans but you just have to give him an inch and he will give you a lifetime! :)
OH AND ALSO....IT IS OKAY FOR GUYS TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE GIRLS! IF THEY DON'T SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY UP! So don't listen to immature, controlling retards that say they don't have any friends that are of the opposite sex!
well first your sister is right abt spending some time with the guys there' s nothing wrong with that....second, the whole thing started with you not trusting ur boyfriend and with that attitude, nothing can go well, i suggest u call him up or go to see him, apologize and start trusting him...never ever let a third party interfere coz no one wants what u want or even knows what u want....ONLY YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR LIFE...
You are not being irrational at all. It is hard to trust someone who lives that far away. All girls do it. The thing I've found is that usually you know when something is wrong. I have been through this many times and I could always tell when my bf had done something wrong. I wouldn't break up with him for a weekend of hunting, lets face it hes a man. I'm sure you are a top priority to him if he has been seeing you for a while and you live that far away. The girl that told you those things sounds like she doesn't know what she was talking about. You should keep your guard up incase something like this happens again but I don't think there is any reason to go to extremes here. And if he really loves you, he will call back.
You spotted out two problems to me,so you already know the answer.
First of all,you are letting other's people opinion and point of view,interfeer with YOUR life with YOUR boyfriend.If you ever doubt him,always ask the one person who could give you the answer...your boyfriend.
Second thing is that all of these things are happening over the phone.You cant solve anything over the phone,you have to meet your bf and talk to him and only him.
Women tend to get jealous.Women tend to ';make up'; stories cause they think they ';senced'; something.Men try not to talk about things cause its not their buisness and they dont want to give their point of view cause again,its not their buisness.
So,really just talk to your boyfriend face to face.If you think he is lying to you,than he is.But it is you who will decide,cause you know him better.
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