I need some relationship advice. serious answers only please.?

I've been going out with this guy for 1 year and 9 months and we had some pretty big fights lately over some stupidest crapboth decided that we need to break from each other because we both have things going on with framily and friend problems.


like his friend commited sucide and a few of my family members died lately and im still grieving. so now we are basically broken up even though we love each other a lot but have a hard way of showing it.


my question is: what can i do to save a relationship so we arent apart forever and what kind of nice things could we do when we are back together if that ever happens?





it really hurts because hes the only one i could ever connect with in my whole life and i dont have to pretend to be anyone else when im around him i can just be me. plus we've had so many experiences with each other. help me please.





I ONLY want people to answer if its serious, if its not then ill give a thumbs down. thanks.





jennaI need some relationship advice. serious answers only please.?
To be honest this should be a time when you both need each other. No matter what is going on the point should be you love each other, thats not going to change and to except it the way it is. My fiance and I rarely fight but when we do it's over pronto. But it takes a lot more then love to be with someone and to build a solid life together. Trust, intimacy, compassion, empathy, FRIENDSHIP. If he is the only one you could connect with, you should want that connection more then ever now. But if you don't or he doesn't then maybe you need to ask yourself some hard questions. These are tough times for your relationship but I guarantee there will be plenty more. Are you willing to take a ';break'; every time something happens. Or would you rather have someone who is going to stand by your side?I need some relationship advice. serious answers only please.?
I guess the only thing you can do is keep in touch and help one another by being supportive of one another but give one another the space to work on your own separate issues. but basically all i can say is be supportive to one another and patient and if you get lonely and just want to go out and enjoy his company for awhile then just ask him if that'll be alright to do. I hope that helps you some.
What is most important is that you take the time out you've given each other to reflect on the things that have caused you to drift apart. Work on the things you feel have fallen under your responsibility. Give yourselves enough time to work things out individually. Getting back together too prematurely would cause the same things to happen again. Don't dwell on things you could do once you're back together since if things are worked out individually all good things will happen in the end.
I've never been in a situation anywhere near yours, but all you can do is make sure to spend time focusing on each other. And only each other. If it's a half hour a day or something like that, just give your full attention to him.





Don't hold your problems away from him. Let him in. Hopefully he will do likewise for you.





Best wishes to you both.
i would say...


if you two BOTH really care about each other.. get back together now... if you cant go thru the hard times... then in the future if you get together.. you will have the same trouble... when problems in a relationship happen.. you have to stick together.. not break up... even if you fight... everyone fights.. my guy and i have had horrible fights.. and we have been together over three years now.. seriously.. talking about things after you calm down is how a relationship works.. i hope this helps alittle bit... much love..
well do you still talk to him on a daily basis?





It is important to call him or txt to make sure that he still thinks that your his number one! and vice versa.





Other than try to talk regularly and keep it polite for now.





And when your ready to go on date at your guys favorite place to try to reignite that original spark!
Hi Jenna,


Seems like ur facing a big problem these days. but this stage comes in every relationship. It all depends on hw u handle it!


If u both love each other then there r many ways of saving the relationship.


the best way is start frm ZERO


I mean start like u start a new relationship and then you wil see the result.


thats all I can say!


Bye


tace care


For more details mail me at yusuf.nanabhai@gmail.com
I think you should just enjoy the space you have. Once you guys work your own problems then you can work out relationship problems. Just let him know you love him, call him everyother day and in time you'll be back together, but for now just enjoy your space.
I would say that you guys might just be meant to be close friends it isn't a bad thing i dated a girl for 2 years then we broke up and we are great friends. you will feel the need to date them but if its meant to be it'll happen eventually
just be honest with him


and tell him that u dont want to breakup


tell him that no matter what any kind of fights


u 2 sem to get in its not worth losing eachother


]over it


just remember honesty is the best policy





hopes this helps


=]
You should tell him you love him...now do it gently guys will get scared about tis most of the time....don't seem to stuffy around him...he'll hate that and last but not least BE YOUR SELF!!!!
Never give up on the person you don't go a day without thinking about them


fight for him, the remember how you feel when you're apart.


be ready to compromise
some relationships don't work out at times especially right now so give it time and see
Jenna, I know how you feel... I had a problem similar to this with a serious gf a few years back. Here is my advice, first of all.... if you REALLY need a break, take the break and don't see each other for a while, but don't use the break as an excuse to see other people (not saying you will, but alot of people use that as an excuse). If you love each other the way you say you do, then in my opinion you shouldn't need a break. If you have both had people close to you die recently, then that should open your eyes even more to how precious life is.... and you should both be there for each other. Stop fighting over the little things, and enjoy your life together.





Unfortunately, one break in a relationship usually leeds to another longer one and another until the relationship eventually ends.... that is why i suggested to try and work things out without the break.





I hope things work out between the two of you.
My boyfriend and I fight a lot too, sometimes about the stupidest things. This is normal, especially if you have stressful things going on in your life. People sometimes don't know to grieve or to ';deal'; with certain situations, and so they tend to take it out on someone they are close with like their mate.





It seems like this would be a period where you would need each other the most but are instead pushing each other away but not addressing specific issues. I agree with others who say that it is important to be honest, which is a very hard thing to do. You decided to break up even though you didn't want to, so maybe he feels the same way, and is also afraid to confront you.





My suggestion is to go out for a coffee or something, or even better go for a walk or do something physical. The conversation will come naturally if you are that close. Another thing you may be able to do is before you meet up with him, write a letter if you dont think you can verbalize what it is you are trying to say. He can read it when you meet up, and as weird as it sounds it works for me sometimes. I wish you the best of luck and sorry this is so long.
It's always hard to go through moments like these. It could be a good idea to take a counseling class together. For it sounds that your breaking up is caused more by problems exterior to your relationship. So what you really ned is to sit down and analyze what has happened to you, make a decision on how to go through that hard time and not let him destroy your relationship. You need to communicate, to talk about your problems and understand that you need to support each other emotionally. That's the best way to save your relationship.
First thing to do is share him these ideas, mainly that you think you are still in love and have har time showing it, if he does not share this view you have to forget about it and walk on, on the other hand If he believes you are in love then you have broken the ice and did you both a favor.





Now if you are ever back, don't avoid problems or arguments, but avoid judgments and perceptions,and keep in mind the weight of the argument issue, is it crucial or simple? you can have a rule of break any arguments for 10 mins, thinking about each other point and continue later.
I don't think anyone can really tell you exactly what to do. All I can offer is some advice as to how to do it.





In my experience, it is very hard to have a conversation about the complicated issues you are both dealing with at this point. Yet it is very important that you be articulate and unequivocal too. I think you should sit down, think very carefully about how you feel, what is bothering you, and what you want from the relationship, and then write a letter.





Unless you feel it is appropriate, I would stay away from ultimatums. In any case, some of the things you feel you need to say are right here in your question.





Writing a letter allows you to get it all in there - exactly the way you want to say it without interruption - and sends a message that what you are saying in very important.
You mentioned that it only hurts because you believe he is the only one that you can connect with but how are you so sure of that if you have not been all over the world. There are sooo many people in the world. Are you with him because he is your security blanket and you don't think you can get anyone else? you can work on your individual selves first and realize that love is only limited because you yourselves make it so. Once you can come to terms with the truth then you can decide who you want to share that time and love with the most.





Good luck