Help! Friend/relationship advice? I'm a girl scared that i love my guy friend who has hurt me so much.?

Well...


how pathetic, i should be talking to my friends about this. But they are all not very supportive because they've had enough of hearing about this guy. So I will just go to you guys.


Anyways, a few months ago, I met this guy randomly (total hipster, indie rock kinda guy) and basically feel in infatuation with him...I wouldn't call it love...and we started hanging out, then he told me he liked me, and i thought we were going to get in a relationship, and then the next day, he wouldn't even look at me, and went on this ignoring me streak thing. That Friday i saw him at the movies on a date, it was super awkward. Then, we talked everything about. We came to the conclusion that we didn't actually like each other, but rather liked the ';ideas of each other.'; Which was true, i guess... but i was already in too deep. And as I tried to force myself to be completely over him, it didn't work. We still talked ocassionally, and my stomach still hurt when i saw him at school, and i couldn't eat...i was too anxious. Pathetic, right? Yeah, so, he got a girlfriend and then as the relationship started fading, he kept pushing me to hang out with him. Then, she broke up with him. He came to me and i just jumped right into his arms. We hung out, he led me on, AGAIN, sent me all these ';%26lt;3'; messages and ****, and then he kissed another girl on new years and stopped talking to me. I got a little pissed, so I kind of started ignoring him; I was trying to emotionally detach myself from him. Then he so stupidly wondered why i would ever be ignoring him. I wrote him a letter, which was honest, yet still polite. He told everyone i wrote him a hate letter, and then wouldn't talk to me for 3 weeks. While all this is going on, his best friend (who is exactly like me in every way, we actually met through him and now she is one of my best friends) has been in love with him for a while. They got really drunk one night and had sex. Now he won't talk to her. He told her before over and over that he didn't feel the same way about her, though, so i am not sure who is in the wrong. She's drowning in pain from this though, and she still remains under the thought that he is her soulmate. He tells everyone she is a compulsive liar and that they never had sex. I think that's a total asshole move.


Anyways, after 3 weeks of blatantly ignoring me, he sent me a facebook message in response to my letter (how cool, right?) and claimed he had never ever tried to lead me on the second time. He did, though. But i was stupid and just went with it and said, ';oh no its alright, lalala...';


He met this girl who just moved here and she is my friend as well, so we all hung out, and it was so nice. And i was scared they would like each other and i was scared that i loved him. Because when he makes me happy, he makes me exceedingly happy, and when our conversations don't go completely amazing, then i get all down on myself. And I am trying to be wise and know that he just does not fit in that boyfriend spot in my heart, but it's not working. So, he started calling me every night, we now talk for like an hour every night, and my friend and him have a ';thing'; now, and it made me upset at first. But i know it shouldn't so i started denying my emotions. And getting even more mad at myself and the situation and everything. And I keep lying to myself saying, oh we are good friends now. But i cannot deny that i am his friend in hopes that something else will happen, and he is my friend to keep me in his back pocket. I just...don't know what to do. He's obviously not that great of a person, he's actually a total asshole, but something keeps me hanging on. And i have no idea where my emotions are at or what to do. I want to love someone so bad, and i think i am just looking for it in all the wrong places. What should i do now? I don't know what is healthier, continuing talking to him or detaching myself from him. Either one hurts.





Sorry if that's really long, but yeah, i need help :(Help! Friend/relationship advice? I'm a girl scared that i love my guy friend who has hurt me so much.?
Just stop talking to him altogether because it's obvious that you can't handle a strictly-friendship relationship with him. If your conversations are so great, then have them on a friendly level rather than a romantic level IF AND ONLY IF you think you can handle talking to him without going crazy inside.





And you said it yourself: what he did to that other girl was an asshole move. And that's the exact same thing he's doing to you! He's just using you when he want what he wants, but when it gets to what you want (such as the letter), he makes a fool out of you and ignores you!





He sounds like a rude guy, so just stop throwing yourself out there just to get hurt!