I've always had problems with my parents and in april after my dad headbutted me, i decided to leave home and opted to rent a room in house in order to find myself and learn to be abit more independant before we lived together, we now live together and I just feel like things are so dull, I work from home and I get up to make his breakfast and lunch, I always have dinner ready and wash, put away clothes etc, we still have sex but it doesnt seem how it use to be (in the old days i'd spend hours getting ready for him in sexy undies etc, now it feels like a bit of a chore and when i have made the effort its all been over in 15 minutes!) I do love him but im only 20 and I want to know what all this means! is our relationship doomed? what do I do?
Help!Really need relationship advice, is this normal?
this just means that you need to make yourself feel sexy again. I totally know how you feel, when you start living together, you see each other all the time and he has seen you in your worst hours so you don't bother dressing up as much anymore. Everything seems more like a chore than something you want to do for him. Suggestion would probably be to try something new. Take belly dancing or pole dancing classes for example, they help you discover your body again and make you feel more confident and sexy. or try something new with your sex life, throw a rug in the living room and when he comes home pounce on him. Point is you have to make the effort to spice things up again instead of getting too comfortable. You're still young and in the prime of your life, make use of that..if you spice things up in your sex life, there are higher chances he will take the effort to be more romantic too :)Really need relationship advice, is this normal?
Just talk to him about it, he will understand and he will help you to make your relationship alot less dull. I' a guy myself and we don't like having a dull relationship. At the moment my relationship is just beginning and starting to get better and better, i'd hate for it to get dull.
Good Luck
All the Best ;)
who said talk to him. it's nothing to do with him. I think you just need to get out of the house. you feel like it's a chore because you just do things for him most of the day. get a job outside of your home and start taking hours to get ready again. it's all in your head.
This doesn`t mean that your relationship is doomed, you are just getting the hange of living with your boyfriend. Everyone goes through this when they first move in with their significant other give it more time it will get better. Maybe if you get out more then things wouldn`t feel that way.
Welcome to married life... all of the boredom, none of the commitment.
Seriously, it gets routine. It gets boring. Thats just how it goes. Take some time to get yourself out of the house sometimes. Plan dinner out once in a while. Make efforts to change what you don't like or don't complain about it.
Sounds to me like you are too young to settle down yet.
I think you want to experience a bit more before you settle down with one dude forever. And why shouldn't you? Well, you might lose this guy if you tell him you still want to experience that old dating sex. Maybe he will be cool with it...
Make some time for that dressing up and foreplay. Don't let sex become a chore. You can spice it up by being more adventurous. Maybe buy some handcuffs or surprise him with a costume. Try having sex in different rooms, or if you're brave, in public.
You are quite young but you have to make him feel that your special!
hes taking you for granted ,when he wants to have sex refuse and make him work for it!
Try going out more as well and talk to him on a level!hope it works out for you!
someone,answer mine please,http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>
Sounds like he's just got comfortable with the relationship. Nothing wrong with that. Just try and spice it up every now and then. Let him know how you feel, he probably thinks everything is okay unless you say something to him.
your relation is not doomed its just that you need to make things exciting, its not that abnormal because now you are living with him and its like always there for you, human tend to crave for things they can't easily have..........
the flame dims after time. all that matters if your love and respect for one another. the way you two get along is also very important. maybe you are just too young? don't just settle.
If he does not have a job, then headbutt him out.
Some guys have a saying. Why buy the cow,
when your getting the milk for free. %26lt;}:-{(
Well you 2 basically need to cool off some,not break up just slow it down a Little relax.
yeah its basically doomed
You are only 20? Jesus that's old. Most girls at your age are mums with a home and all that. Sounds like your relationship has gone belly up, Find a new man.
need to talk to him
get out now
just spice things up a bit, try new postions
maybe its just you.....if he still thinks it feels the same ...talk to him about it
it's doomed if you think it is. he probably doesn't know what's really going on in your head right now and what have been your feelings and emotions lately. talk to him, be outspoken. say what's really on your mind. maybe try saying ';i feel like our relationship is getting boring, but i don't want to end it up just because of this. what have been your thoughts and do you have any suggestion what we should do?'; . you can try saying that but still it's your call.
at least now, you finally have an idea how different it is once you're actually living with your partner in one apartment, in one bedroom. according to people's reality around (i haven't experience living together with a boyfriend), they say that's how it is when u get married. things eventually gets boring. so now, it's either you make it stay like that, or you do something about it.
This is normal. People go through cycles. For example, you are not the same person today as you were in high school. You have changed and grown and you will continue to change and grow for the rest of your life. He is doing the same. The key is to change and grow together. Trying the same old stuff is never going to satisfy either of you. At this point, sex is a ';been there done that';. Now is a good time to focus on intimacy and not sex. Foreplay, wine, massage, travel, re-decorating together, intellectual stimulation, etc. This will allow you to learn new sides of each other and the benefits will show in the bedroom.
It means you feel smothered. I felt the same way when I was living with my boyfriend. I'm 24 and I STILL feel young and don't want to be in any way tied down in that sort of situation anytime in the near future.
You're 20! You should be living life! Not stuck as a homemaker wiping his as$ and making his meals!
You should not be living together at such a young age because you both have lots of growing to do, both physically and more importantly emotionally. People change, and it's already a proven fact that when people get married or move in together at such a young age that they are more of a risk of being divorced or ending the relationship.
You need to have 2 seperate lives. You need to have your own place, you own space to unwind and breathe some air without feeling smothered like a mother.
These are good questions. It seems that your life has a bit of complexitiy to it, so there is not really a simple answer. I will tell you that it is quite normal for sex to go from ';all the time'; to something boring and even teadious; especially as the relationship grows older.
It is important and helpful, tho, that you learn to communicate with one another about this and do what you can to bring some 'spice' back into the bedroom; not all the time, of course, but it helps keep things fresh and relieve the stress of day to day living.
In summary, it sounds fairly normal, and trying to add flavor from time to time will help.
well,dear,you're even worse than a wife!you are doing all of those things without a ring on your finger and he can dump you anyway he'd like..it's not normal at this age for you to act like a wife,not beeing one,it's time for you to have some fun in your life,so tell this boyfriend of yours that you are going to do from now on only things you enjoy.and be capricious to him,to make him conquest you over and over again,to work hard for your love,so you do not end up with a boring love life...
it's not normal for you to get bored at this age and in a love relationship!
It is all part of being in a relationship - once you move in together you start to share your most intimate things and that sometimes makes you feel like you or him don't have that * sparkle* anymore. It's all about being together for a long time.
Think about it - everyone has good and bad days and we're not pleasant and wonderful all the time. It's normal - we are people.
I'm pretty sure he appreciates that you make him breakfast, lunch, dinner and takes care of the house, but if you feel overwhelmed, maybe you can suggest for him to give you a hand every now and then - once he cooks or does the dishes, so you don't feel you are living only for him, and he can show you that he wants the best for your ';living together';.
It is impossible to spend hours getting ready in sexy undies everyday, but when you feel it's going to happen (or you would like for it to happen), take your time - one afternoon, wax, moisturize, perfume, put your sexy undies...and when he comes home at the end of the day - what a surprise! Before and during sex, tell him what you like and (I'm sure) he'll love to please you and not be finished in 15 minutes - Men are not mind readers, so we need to give them some instructions, besides, each person likes a different thing, so telling is essential. Sex needs to be fun and enjoyable, not a chore. If you are too tired, be honest, if you don't want to do it, be honest.
Honesty is the foundation of relationships - talk about it, share, but don't be bossy - Sharing house chores, making sex special and sharing your likes and dislikes will make things much smoother.
Don't worry your relationship is not doomed at all!
You are now living together and you need to learn how to cope with a different set of things in both of your lives - all in all I congratulate you to join this new adventure and wish you all the best!
I knw wat you mean,,, this is the ';wife'; feeling your getting, your cooking dinner, doing laundry, and things you shuldn't do now, your too young for it, thing is you used to be independant and free but now you have a lot of responsibilities, try having him share responsibilities, tke you out once or twice a week for dinner, let him do the work once a week and give you a day off for yourself. Try relaxing and don't forget you are still VERY VERY young ! you shuld have fun, go out :)! watch Tv tgethr, snuggle up to each othr :) HAVE FUN :)!!!!
I'm 20 too, and i was with my boyfriend 3 years! I was sort of like you, things became dull and boring, and i couldnt be bothered! Honey, your 20! You are so young and have so much life to live and so many more experiences to encounter! I left my boyfriend, because it wasn't fair to him, and now i am so happy! I never realised how trapped i was and it sounds like your feeling the same thing. If your meant to be later on when you are both ready you will get back together, you never know what better things can come along if you dont give them the chance. 20 year olds arent meant to be living the life of a housewife just yet!
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