Can I get some relationship advice please?

My bf and I have been together for almost 10 years, we lived together for about 4. I moved out almost a year ago, I am a recovering addict and I moved out to try and get my self together and get clean. I am now almost 1 year clean, however, my bf and I have been trying to work things out. He thinks b/c I messed our relationship up w/ my addiction adn all of the things that come w/ it. He thinks I should basically just do what he says, how and when he says it. I am not one for dressing up when we are sitting around the house, but b/c I screwed up I should have to look good all the time. That is actaully a deal breaker for him, if I choose to slum it one day. I am not allowed to be tired or angry or anything. No matter if I worked a doubleshifdt or am just sick. Like I said I have lied to him and stole from him in the course of active addiction, and at this point he believes I should not have any life other than him, which is what thru me in to the drugs in the first place. Does anyopne see this as normal? I just need some adivice, if need more info, just email me.Can I get some relationship advice please?
A big part of recovering from any addiction, is to remove yourself from the environment. While your ex may not have been the one who supplied you, the environment will not be healthy for you long term.





Make the situation the best you can for your success. It is time to start looking after Number 1! It is time to start a new.





Good LuckCan I get some relationship advice please?
You've gotten yourself clean, congratulations. I think you owe it to yourself to stay away from this guy. You can't walk on eggshells to try and make him happy when it sounds like nothing you do will make him happy anyways. I think you should stay on your own and hopefully find a nice guy that loves you for you.
you don't need this guy anymore


he is just trying to control your life





the past is past and he shouldnt hold it against you
No, this is not normal. Yes, you had an addiction, but you did the right thing to go seek treatment. I congratulate you on being clean almost a year now, that is not easy to do. However, your boyfriend doesn't get to be the boss now because you slipped up. People mess up, it's only human. If he was demanding that you stay clean to continue the relationship, I would say that is a reasonable request and quite frankly, the only request he can make of you. There is no reason you should get dolled up all the time or not be allowed to have an ';off'; day. It happens to everyone, you can't be chipper all day, everyday. I'm sorry but I think this relationship isn't what you need.
You are in a vulnerable position and he is taking advantage of it. He does not have any right to tell you what to do, what to wear, etc. This is abusive and you need to get out of this relationship, and it may not be what you want to hear. It is not fair to point out or turn the tables all the time to say you are the one that screwed up because he has his own faults as well.


Everyone has their own life outside spending time with their significant other, and you are in a controlling relationship. He himself is controlling and you don't want to be in a relationship with someone that controlling. If he said that is the deal breaker, you just end it because everyone has their bad days and good days. Let it slide for one day, and let him leave because I don't think you deserve such harsh treatment. You did not screw up everything and nobody is perfect. If anything, he should be supporting you and helping you out since you are recovering, which can be a hard journey after stopping whatever you did or limiting it.


This is NOT normal at all, and you need help for this or get out of this relationship because it will only get worse if you stay longer. Does he know what he is doing or just being too protective? It sounds like he knows what he is doing, and you are being put in a very vulnerable position. You don't need to feel threatened or worried in your home, because it is the last place you would feel unsafe.


Get outside help and leave this relationship before you get yourself into trouble again. I don't know about the other details in your life, but they have to be sorted out as well, because if children are involved it will be a lot more complicated.
CONGRATULATIONS ON ALMOST ONE YEAR SOBRIETY!!!!





Honey, you need to take a ';ME'; break and re-evaluate your life. And decide where u want to go and who u want with you. To answer your question No, it is not normal nor good for him to treat you that way. You have done what u need to do to get ur life back on track and i don't mean to be rude but, ur sobriety is more important than him. You don't need things in your life that will push u backwards into a place that you have worked so hard to get out of. I say talk to him and let him know how his behavior is making you feel. Also,i recommend counseling for him that u both can participate in. For people who live or love addicts or recovering addicts. They have alot of support groups for people who need to learn how to deal with the feelings of resentment, anger, and or hurt towards the addict that upset their lives. After, u have a deep conversation with him about ur feelings and how his behavior effects u take the necessary steps to start rebuilding your lives together as a couple and a team or move on and start rebuilding your life for the future to come. As a recovering addict support from those around you and the ones you love are crucial. Make sure u explain to him.





Good Luck

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