I used to be not caring what a guy would think of me.I was confident about myself.But with him im turning into someone i told myself i will never be.Then i told him'' i dont know if i cant be with you baby''.. then he says like i cant live without u, i would die, i really cant do this and all that.Makes me feel even bad.Its like im stuck.And im feelin so insecure lately when im with him.Our love is really big, thats why its hard to leave him.I want to cry all the time,something heavy on my chest.Ahhh..its really hard.I want to get myself back.I need good relationship advice , i cant deal with it no more.?
Well I was in a similiar situation but 2 put even more stress on it I was pregnant with his baby.
I became a shell of myself..I was insecure, defensive, upset, depressed. I felt manic. I loved him but I hated what he was doing to me.
Finally when I was 5 months pregnant at around 4am I turned 2 him and told him 2 get out that it was over. At the time I was 5 months pregnant, my job was ok but there was no room for elevation, savings we're minimal, and I was conflicted as to what path id take. But when I told him 2 go I never turned back since.
I went by the Serenity Prayer. Trust me this prayer keeps you sane and makes so much sense of everything no matter how big or small. It goes ';God please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage 2 change the thing I can and wisdom 2 know the difference';.....sometimes in place of the word serenity I say strength...sometimes you can't be calm about a situation it affects you to much so I strength so that I allow myself to be angry but not lash out at what's going on.
This method has worked wonders for me. I've been using it since my breakup in 06 with my sons father. We we're together 2 yrs. And when a recent relationship of 8 months with someone else ended it took me just 7 days to get over it.
Just think its not your fault....some things are out of your control....focus on all that you can control....like your life...your career...your finances...your happiness....
And guess what when I did all that I was happier than ever and they ALWAYS come back when you've gotten over them and are happy just keep the serenity prayer in mind and keep moving forward
REMEMBER if a person isn't a part of your present its because they aren't suppose 2 be a par of your future.I need good relationship advice , i cant deal with it no more.?
Well you need tell him that you feel he is changing and also tell you are feeling insecure because of it. What he tells next will decide your fate. If he tells, NO, i have not changed then you are probably wrong about his emotion ( i know 4 years but still). If he tells the problem, try and fix it or do whatever you can. Thats all i got to say
Sounds to me like you've answered your own question. Obviously you aren't as happy as you could be, I'd take a break to separate your lives and to remember who you are without him. When you're all sorted out, you can go back if you wish. But maybe you'll find a man that's perfect for you while you're not looking!
This is a tough question. But, if he's really putting you thrue that much stress, you should dump him. I know this is going to be very hard, but it's for the best of you. Just tell him you want to be friends, just not a couple anymore.
you should just take the plunge and leave him since you are already crying all the time and feel bad.
go find someone new.
just because a relationships last a long time does not mean you were ment to be together for ever.
good luck
1. Initiation
2. Escalation
3. Plateau
4. Termination
You sound like you're in stage three. Stage four doesn't necessarily have to happen but I'm just saying relationships are a cycle.
I dated a guy for 3 1/2 years and it was the hardest thing in the world to break up with him. I just fell out of love with him ... which sounds so stupid. I didn't even believe it could happen until it did. I must've taken months to make up my mind and even though I was sure it was the right thing to do, it was still so hard and I spent hours and hours crying over it.
I think it's important to first evaluate what's going on between you two ... Is he being distant cos he's stressed about work or a family issue or is he being distant cos he doesn't want to be with you anymore OR is he just appearing distant cos you expect more from him than you have before.
If you're feeling insecure then you need to try and remove yourself from the situtaion a bit and try and evaluate your actual feelings before making a decision.
I really don't think you should stay with him just because you're scared and insecure.
I was in exactly the same position. After we broke up, I felt like I didn't even know myself anymore. Food tasted different, I stopped doing the things I used to love. It was so hard ... even though I was the one who broke up with him. Then one morning I woke up and decided I was gonna be positive about it and find myself again no matter how long it took. (it took me about 3 months to decide this) I packed my bags and went away for the weekend by myself and came home with a new outlook. I have never looked back. I'm now so much better and stronger than I was with my ex and because of that I have been able to realise that the person I really am was completely not the person I was with him. Now I realise that the reason I felt so insecure was that I was pretending to be someone I wasn't ... and the person I really am turned out to be so much better.
I'm having the same feelings excpet my bf doesn't hide his emotions. But I just keep telling my bf how I feel and we try really hard to fix the problem. I know exactly what you mean about feeling stuck. It makes things a lot harder. But if you did separate you would both get over it eventually. It's really hard to think like that but it's true. I would try to work things out before you do that though. Just tell him how you're feeling and try to figure out a solution that works for both of you.
You need to sit down with him and ask him to be more open with you, Also iff he hides his emotion well, You never really know what he could be up to.
Iff hes x-military That explains the emotion hiding.
Iff you feel like you got somthing on your chest yet no arguements have occure'd when hes also hard-headed and barely shows emotion. You could also be feeling that hes done somthing wrong, Without having to see or be shown or hear. Its human sence. Witch could be making you more and more unstable because you wont ask him whats on his mind.
I hope this has helped. %26gt;:)
If this guy is making you feel so terrible about yourself, you got to do YOURSELF a favour and get out of it, no matter what he says. You may think it's true love, but you wouldn't be feeling stuck and wanting to cry if it was. You can't have him depending on you so much like that, it'll put so much pressure on you, and make it so you can't even depend on yourself.
good luck hun! remember, no matter WHAT he says, you have to get out of it, for the both of you. it's unhealthy for him to be like ';i can't live without you';. and it's unhealthy for you.
Well glad to hear that you believe in God . . . I think you should pray first of all. Second of all, you two need to seriously sit down and talk about your relationship. Discuss what is great about it and what you both think you could work on. Once you figure out what needs to be done, think about if you can do that and if it would be worth it. It sounds like you two really care about each other, and I wish you both the best, no matter what the outcome. Just remember, a relationship should bring you happiness, not sadness.
Every relationship is different. The love between you two will last forever. Entanglement is infinite. Sometimes though, if the situation seems to going awry, You have to love each other enough to let each other go. Now, there is still a chance to save what you have. You two have to find and employ effective communication techniques. Us men hate getting asked 'what are you thinking' all the time. Instead of asking questions of him, make statements to him. Talk to him. Express yourself. Time is on your side.
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