I need some relationship advice. I am so very lost.?

I have been dating this awesome guy for a year and a half. I really do care for him, he means so much to me. He was the first person I ever really kissed. I am 20 and he is 24. We spend almost every day together it seems. We dont fight , no joke we have never had a fight. About two months ago I found a letter that he wrote to his ex. saying that he still loves her, that no matter what he will always love her more..( not to make him sound like the bad guy here , I am a very hard person to get involved with. I dont let my gard down ever. I dont show emotions, and i never tell him how i feel about some things becasue thats just the way i am , im not that kind of person. I dont even tell my best friends anything im a private person and always have been) anyway, when i found that letter, it was like i was hit with a ton of bricks. I did not tell him i read it for like a month. I think i tried to convince myself that i did not love him as much as i do, and I really do , so much. I dont really think he knows how much i do. .. He told me that he will not talk to her again, because he wants to move on, he wants us to work things out. I want to believe it so bad, but i cant help thinking every day that im his second pick girl , that he is with me because he cant have her. I dont know , what to do , its killing me not knowing why he is with me or what he really wants. He is thinking about joining the air force, he says its to actually make something of his life but i think its to get away from me and all of his other problems and I am so damn lost. He is the first boyfriend I have ever had and I am not too good on relationship things i guess. What would be some signs that he really does love me for me and not becasue i resemble that girl, or becasue he can have her. I have tried so hard , i have changed so manythings about my self to prove how I feel and I dont think he understands what I am going through. I dont want to loose him , i dont think i could take that. I just dont know ......I need some relationship advice. I am so very lost.?
Well girl Cheer Up... I sailed in the same boat some times Back!


Dont worry.


Well u have so many problems and not just one. So my answer is gonna be too long. :-D... so here we goooooooooo......





First, How does it matter to u if u are a second girl he picked or third?If u love him so much, this shouldn't be any of ur concerns First Thing.So lets chuck off this issue completely from its root here otself Ok?





Now second, he wrote her a letter, and which he just mentioned he still loves her. well it must be coz he is still not over her ... not because u are incapable of something but just that he really loved her and some how things didnt work out tht way. I have the similar problem. My boyfriend was not able to forget his ex. I took it otherwise and had made issues so many time, but everytime it happened, we both were hurt. He needed me to give him support and take him out of his past relationship. Slowly and slowly I started being patient and tried to understand his feelings.


If u really love this guy, better be patient and a real true lover with whom he can share anything and everything. Later my boyfriend started sharing the times he spent with her and slowly and slowly my patience, Love %26amp; care took him out of his past. U to need to be patient coz he needs someone who could back him up. I know u are a nice girl and thts the reason u are so much troubled. But if u really cant make up with it u always have an option to move on and get someone new guy, but Mind you, no relation on this earth is 100% fair. every relationship has complications. u found problems in this relationship, u would find something else and different in other. So, one needs to be patient, know how to comprmise in some situation. then only things work out fine and lasts long.





Well, your next issue that u aren't good enough may be??? Well i dont agree, If you weren't tht good enough, then why did u had no fights or this relationship didnt end in some mnths, why is it from last 1-1 1/2 years old. Believe in urself. He does love you and wants you to be around else he wouldnt have been with you this long. give him sometime to get over his ex. talk to him nicely and very openly abt this. tell him he shoudl feel free to shae his feeling with you whenever he wishes. and dont think that he is with you just coz he cant have her..... then he could have stayed with soem else as well ... why only you? he loves youa nd he really wants a future with u. Its just a matter of time ... everything will be fine soon in your life. Just dont panic. He wants to go in Airforce, buck him up, support him. It may be (which is quite possible i guess so) just your mind's thinking that he wants to go away from u and other stuffs. wht if u are wrong and he really wants to do something about it?


U dont have to to do like his ex used to, coz if he really wanted you to be tht way, he would have complaint on the way u actually are. He never did so right? clearly means he loves you the way you are honey.








Just dont be paranoid, just stay calm, leave it on time. You keep loving him the way you have always, be supportive, give him some time and space to get over his ex. He is definitely urs and will be urs only.





I hope you get peace of your mind soon.





Just keep smiling and be cheerful dear, dont panic or be sad abt something which u r just doubting on. Let things come up on its own, if he really has to be with you he will, if he doesnt have to, he would have gone away long back. he wouldn't have stayed this long.








Take Care!


Cheers!


Pearl!I need some relationship advice. I am so very lost.?
just be honest


talk to him


or u could show him what u just wrote...let him read it and then he might understand
Make him choose, either her or you he can't have both and you are not the back up plan in case they get back together. Make it clear be hard you might not like it but its the best way
you problem is that the guy is all wrong for you. If he doesnt love you more, that's his problem and he shouldn't ruin your life by making you feel upset all the time. and if you don't show enough emotion around him, that might be because he's not the right guy for you. you need some one that makes you feel safe and makes you fell happy all the time. this guy is a jerk and your too blind to see it. P.S. This is advice a teenager... lol.... i know more than you! jk
I think, u should understand the reality of life. There is nothing to loose.. He is playing games with both of u.. u r such a small in age %26amp; u have to concentrate on your future.. what is your future plan for life ? what is his educational qualification ? will he be able to give u all happiness ? will your parents allow you for this relation ? This relation will also disappoint him.. Ask him about his letter u read %26amp; if u feel that answer is not satisfactory, just forget him.. may be u get better person as a life partner in future.. So, just throw him away from your life %26amp; concentrate on your future %26amp; make sure that this relation doesn't spoil relation with your parents.. So, forget him %26amp; enjoy..
dear...


you;re so hung up on him only cuz he's the first guy u've been with....


otherwise by the things u just said all guys sound like that only when they talk about their ex's that they wish tomove on ,they'l never talk to em,,,,blah ..blah,...


n once they are over em they never talk to them...


so seems ur guy aint yet over his ex...


n he dosnt seems to feel what all u have for himm....


n its better to let go of someone who cant b compatible on the terms of feeling....


n since he's into someone else he can never have all that for you...


so better let go of him ......it's going to be really hard ..but its the right thing to do...


and the only way to make him realise what a cruel thing he did to you.....


he's so ot worth ur feelings...


take care dear,....