I need serious relationship advice. help!?

So.. before i begin my story ill give you some background information. and please dont think this is just high school drama, because its so much more than that.


im only 17, and im in love currently but messed up and needs help emensly. this summer has been probably the roughest time of my life. before my current boyfriend i had another that i had dated for 2 years. just last month he died in a drunk driving axident that i feel hard to beleive yet hard to get over mentally. and my current boyfriend i feel is all i have left thats the closest thing to my ex. not that their alike. i just like comfort. who doesnt..


so all this sounds nice and dandy but ive messed up in the past and somehow it found me and payed me another visit. i dont want your pitty for my ex and i understand what your about to read is really messed up, so please no name calling or bi**h outs. just advice please.


okay so, to begin when i was dating my ex about a year into our relationship i got drunk with my friend hannah and her boyfriend we all messed up that night. i didnt nessacerily have sex with him, but we made out and i told my ex the next day. about six months ago my ex and i broke up for a while and yet again i got drunk and hooked up with his best friend branden. (which i deeply regret) he never found out about it... we broke up but he still took me to winter formal. this was around valentines day this year. on valentines day itself he was supposed to pick me up and go to a party where he said he was going to ask me out. he ended up ditching me and hooking up with my bestfriend who is currently mourning him because they dated.


about a month after they started dating, me heartbroken and angry desides to find another guy. i did his name was mason and he was one of the best wrestlers in our state. hes muslum and extremely hard headed (i soon found out..) lol. i had had one serious boyfirend before that and he had never had a girlfriend. we soon dated after he got back from sping break and it was good untill the little immature fights came. mason soon started breaking up with me over the dumbest things and i had never delt with that with my ex. i didnt know what to do. he became EXTREMELY attatched to me and i think i took it all for granite. i thought i liked him alot, but at that point i just got so fed up with it all i did something stupid. one night mason broke up with me and he sounded seriously different this time. i felt uncomforted so me being dumb called up brandon. we drank and did everthing but sex. (regrettingly) mason and i soon got back together and i didnt want to tell him because i didnt want to hurt him cause he was being post breakup but kisser and i loved it. he really trusted me. and one day after my ex's funeral, brandon and mason become friends somehow and the secret slipped out. mason stayed with me to this day. he doesnt trust me and all of his friends hate me. everyone now knows about everything with me and brando too. and just recently i told a little lie and i lost all trust with him. i didnt relize it before but i really need him. i am a girl of physical comfort which is rare. please dont think im a sl*t. im truely a sweet girl that just gets put in bad situations and makes bad decisions. i know now i truely love mason and possibly want him for the rest of my life (i know im extremely young, im just showing you how much i care) i need help, i cant feel heart broken again cause it hurts. how can i get his trust back fast, even though i know itll take alot of time. im ready to grow up and change. i do have a problem with lying that i want to overcome. im done partying, even though i dont do it that much. i need help because i need mason. i love him.I need serious relationship advice. help!?
well, I read it all. I think its important to know everything you can before you give someone an answer, whether its on here or in real life. And i believe you when you say that you aren't a slu.t, because I've been in a couple situations like what you explained, some of them half the stuff though, but it was still there. Anyway, trust is a really hard thing to earn back, I would know, I am currently trying to earn someone's trust back. Its difficult, and it may take a long while, although I'm sure you know that. What you need to do is show mason that you aren't going to give up. Because that is what goes through a guy's mind. They think, when you come to them and tell them you want to be friends, you still like them, you want to be with them, etc, they think oh who cares, she's just going to stop trying after awhile. But if you're persistent on showing them that you want to change and that you're trying your hardest for them. That you want to change for them, they may start to slowly understand. They might not immediately think of trusting you again. But they may start thinking about giving you another chance. Maybe a chance to explain yourself, or a chance to show them that you are trying very hard. Whatever you decide to do, stick around. No matter the difficulty level. No matter what mason throws at you to dodge or catch, stick around. Don't let what he says to you get to you. He is hurt right now and you have to understand that. You're hurt too, but you were disloyal to him when he had all trust in you and you broke that trust. You need to let him know that you understand why he doesn't trust you. You need to tell him that you understand if he might take awhile to trust you again. Just let him know you that you know. You understand. He might not believe you at first, but keep at it. If you hear something enough, you start believing it. And if you start telling the truth, he'll know it. I have a lying problem too..I always hurt people when I lie and it angers me. I'm trying to change that too. Even when the truth hurts like *****, sometimes, its what you got to do to avoid lying to him. And you need to tell him that. That the truth may hurt, but its better than a lie. And tell him that you regret the things that you do. If you don't, he's going to think that you're fine with what you did and that you may do it again. If you tell him how horrible you feel then he's going to slowly start to understand. And after awhile he's going to trust you again. It'll take time, but since you said you love him, you decide if its worth it. Which I'm sure it is. He seems wonderful. And I know you said not to give you sympathy about your ex that died...But I'm going to anyway..I really am sorry. I'm not just saying that for sympathy wise, but because I put myself in people's places a lot, so I can see things through people's eyes, and i can feel what they are mostly feeling. its a habit of mine to see things through other people's eyes, but i just do it. So i know what i must have felt like to have learned that he died. I mean, I don't KNOW know, but i can make myself understand it. So I am sorry. and good luck. Hope this wasn't too lengthy of an answer. I just had to put down my thoughts on this. I really hope things work. And if you want to, you could email me updates on whether Mason is pulling through or not. I'm going through a similar situation with a guy..and I its nice to know someone else has a problem kind of like mine: scarlett.raine@ymail.com


I really hope I helped.I need serious relationship advice. help!?
Ye um I went through similiar with a girl





I hate her.
im confused.
Nobody wants to read all that. Summarize please.
no ones gonna read all that.
welll..... idk what do say.


umm.........stop lying. be the best gf to mason ever.
f*ck thats long
sounds like you need to stop drinking
You're 17?


You need a grammar, %26amp; a spelling check my dear.


%26lt;3
wouuuuu are u writin a book
From what I can read whenever you get mad at one boyfriend you just find another guy to make out what? That's insane and makes you look cheap. You clearly have no idea what a relationship is and why you spread yourself thin is beyond me. To untangle this mess you need to figure out from yourself why is it when things go crazy in your relationship do you run into the arms of another guy that is just looking to use you? You are using all of these guys like security blankets and making your self look like a tramp in the process.How can you reassure Mason that when things get tough you will not run off and make out with another guy? You can't. You clearly have some insecurity issues you need to work out before you get into another relationship to stop this cycle.You only want these guys because you hate being alone but yet you mistreat them. Love yourself and know you are capable of giving and receiving so much love in a relationship and the right guy will come along. You do not need Mason, Nor Brandon and seeing as how you treated both of them it is only fair you leave them alone,. get your issues in check and then move on and find someone else. You will hurt a lot of people if you do not move off of this vicious path and you will lose the most. God will help you honey. Just pray when things get crazy and he will hear you.
well thats what happens when you play with fire.. if u want this mason guy u should just stop with all this stufff first just be single dont like make out with ur boyfriends best friends and just try to change and stop lying cause then no one will believe you and that what happend to you now so just change and then when you know you changed your bad hobbies and actitudes go to mason and show him you had changed for good and that u want to be with him ..... just dont do that kind of stuff cause u do sound like a slu t sorry ................ Good LUCk
first of all.. that was really long and i got a little confused in the middle. You are using these guys, and possibly the partying/drinking, to deal with your problems. None of this will get straightened out until you back up and look at what you've done. I guarantee you didn't go through the whole mourning process with your ex, you just found a new guy but he wasn't enough so you had to get your, uh, condolences from his friends and other guys. You messed up pretty big here but you can always stop right now and change who you are. What you really need to do is talk seriously to all the people you hurt (and don't get defensive with them) and take a break from the guys and the drinking. Then, when you have dealt with all the underlying problems that make you feel the need to get drunk and hook up with random guys, you can go back and talk to mason and tell him you really have changed etc and try to get him back. If he won't take you back don't sweat it, you're only 17 and when you go off to college(assuming you're still in high school) you will meet plenty of people you could love just as much. Just make sure you change your ways a little before then. Just keep this in mind, if you mess around with your bf's best friend are you more likely to earn back his trust if you tell him the same day, or if he finds out from his best friend a couple months later? Just take a break and figure out who you are and what you're doing with your life before you go back to the guys. Good luck.
I do not think you are a bad person, but just young. You made a bad mistake, and thinking back on it you would not have done it. That is why all Im going to say is think about all the possible outcomes next time. But if you slip up again. Keep it to yourself. Do not shear it with a GF as she can use it against you. As far as trust that is something that time will take to rebuild. You really sound like a good girl that made a bad decision. So try not to stress, because somethings in life we cannot know, like how the other person will react.


I hope you find happiness.
don't worry girl. i'll read your story since i myself wrote something longer than this. lol. i'll consider you in my drama dilemma. XD
wow. thats long.


but anyway.


im sorry for everything thats happend.





okay. first,


you just need too do little things that remind mason that you love him..


and the little things you do...like go over too your friendss...tell HIM that.


just tell him where you'lll bee...and that will quickly(well, maybe not quickly) gain trust back.


you need too PROVE phycally and mentally too mason that your ready too change for him.


and that is great that your willing too do that, might i add.





i really dont know what too tell you besides what i already did.


your put in a very hard situation.





but, i'd like you too know...as time goes on...things will get better.


i promise.