I need serious relationship advice! Please help...?

I have been with the same guy off %26amp; on for about 2 years ... I like to say that we're ';serious';, but I don't know if thats really what you would call it.





He has never cheated on my physically (that I know of), but he texts %26amp; calls his ex gf all the time and tells her how much he loves her still. He denies it, but she has actually let me listen to her voicemails. He drinks A LOT, and when I ask him not to he says I'm being ';controlling';. He yells at me all the time %26amp; calls me names. I have caught him in so many lies, but everytime he says that things will change and of course they never do. I have tried breaking up with him, but of course that only lasts a day or so. He has accidentally called my phone before and I have heard him and his coworkers making jokes about me. For some reason I just CAN'T leave him alone... when I hang up on him and he doesn't call me back some how I end up calling him back... when he is guilty somehow he turns around and makes ME say sorry.





I love him a lot and I don't want to leave him...


I just don't know what else to do! Help....I need serious relationship advice! Please help...?
Firstly, it sounds like you are just too available to this guy,so he feels he can walk all over you. He does not have to be nice to you to keep you in his life. Do you want to feel cherished by your man, or do you want to feel abused . . . only you can make that decision. For him, his calculation of ';whats in it for me'; sure beats yours! This video explains what I mean:


http://nz.youtube.com/watch?v=iRZZzUYIKA鈥?/a>





Secondly, the subject of love. You say ';I love him a lot and I don't want to leave him';.





Love, as we know it, is truely just an hormonal reaction. If we took away all our hormones, we would be incapable of feeling love. Weird huh? Plus:


';What we normally call love is the egoistic satisfaction of one person by another, whether it's sexual satisfaction or any other kind of fulfillment we receive from another person. And clearly, this isn't love.';


Read the article linked below for a full explanation.





And, if you want to understand love further, there is a third link to another great video.





All the best, I do hope this helps you see things more clearly


MemI need serious relationship advice! Please help...?
Hi, would you go out with me? I will reject you, abuse you and lie to you. Picture our first date, me getting drunk and making you feel like crap. Sound interesting? Of course it don't. I chose to be alone instead of putting up with crap. Get out of the litter box or hide in the gravel.
You can find somebody better than this guy.Believe me,this guy


isn't worth it.You just have to weed thorough the lousy guys.Make


your own ground rules that way if they break them you have the option of what you feel is best.
this 'love' will make your life miserable. you need to stop calling him and let it be over. you are allowing yourself to be treated this way. you are choosing to be treated this way. start getting some self respect by taking a yoga class. that is what i recommend.
You need to get out of that mess..Loving someone is one thing but when he hurts you behind your back there's no excuse. Its going to take a hell of alot of time to relieve yourself from him too.Take some time to yourself and move on..
doesn't sound like an effective relationship to me... if he is an impulsive liar screw that guy
I know you don't want to, but you deserve better. Find another guy, one that treats you right.
honestly ...hes not worth it
ugh ... boys ..





okay listen sweetie,





you seem like a very nice girl, your very caring and forgiving thats why you take him back and want to give him another chance. boys dont change so thats off the list. im telling you right now cause for some reason us girls love a bad guy. we always want the boys that treat us like sh*t lol. but mentally and physically for you its not a healthy relationship. i can tell your not happy. you probably are very hurt. you have to be strong. its seems to me he has no respect for you. why would you want to be with someone who cant even respect you? you really need to think if you want someone who treats you like that, and drinks, he sounds like a loser and hes playing you for a fool.





find a new friend asap and start distancing yourself from him. get out. change your number. do whatever. once they feel like you don't care no more they come running back. but dont give in, you really have to think about yourself who is number 1. don't lower yourself or apalogize no more. he wants to see a controller show him you have complete control of your own life with out him in it =)





i hope you make the right decision good luck.
Ok Whoa! Take an outside look at this relationship girl. It sounds really terrible.





He laughs about you with his co-workers


He yells at you and calls you names


he tells his ex how much he still loves her





Really, I know it's hard to leave someone who everyone else seems to be able to paint as a total jerk wad but sometimes, you really need to listen to your friends and probebly everyone who will respond - this guy is a tool.





You seem to be showing classic signs of being controlled in this relationship - you apologise to him even though he's the douche who'se done something wrong. This is not cool.





You need to get rid of him and never look back.



hun i agree with everything everyone has said but i know ur not goin to listen to anything they say but let me tell u sumthing,i was in a very similar relationship for 3 yrs,he was controlin,nasty to me,when soba he was lovely,when drunk he was violent and abusive.now im stuck cos i cant let go.we been split for 3 yrs and still see eachother all my mates dnt get why i want to see him.men dont change hun.he will get worse.ive wasted 3 years of my life on top of the 3 yrs i was with him thats 6 years.as a result my confidence has gone,i feel ugly and useless.dont stick around,get away from him before he really damages u x
You can leave him!! You are much better and stonger and you are worth more than that!!





It sounds that you aren't happy in your relationship even if you love him lots. I was in a similar circumstance (excluding the ex) but then rest was similar. at the time I couldnt see it but all my friends did, they told me all about it amd yet I ignored them. I did build the strength to leave the relationship but it was hard - and I dont lie about that. my friends were there to pick up the pieces and be there for me. And to this day, although part of me still loves him, if I hadnt gotten out then it was have gotten serious.





i am sure that if you spoke to your friends they will think the same, that you can do so mich better and he does not deserve you! spend some 'me' time and ask yourself what do you want in life, do not spend the next 2 years on top of the current 2 or you will miss so much in life and you will end up resenting him rather than loving him.





Sometimes it was better to let go and let fate take its course. If by chance you meet again in the future then you'll know but in the mean time, look after number 1 - you!!
I feel for you! Guys like that are not able to stay in relationships due to their dishonesty. The alcohol is also a factor that may make him think unclear, and make him behave badly. He has no right to yell at you. That is abuse, and he's trying to control you. Shifting blame is being manipulative on his behalf.


Stick up for yourself and give it time and distance between you. Make new friends and stay busy so that you don't obsess over him. You deserve better than that. Stand your ground!
you are in denial he doesnt love you or he wouldnt let people talk about you!and by the way you talk i think you just dont want to be alone well gurl friend kick his *** to the curve get dressed up go to the club and get you a random booty call!MEN DO IT ALL THE TIME!hes still got a thang for his x hes probebly with her right now!wake up and dont be stupid 2 more years
I know what you mean about having trouble letting go. Sucks, doesn't it? My advise to you is what I've had to do in the past. I still saw the guy but I made myself available to other guys as well. I went out with friends and if I met someone, I was open to getting to know them and see where it went. It took a few months and then I met the most amazing guy that I wanted to spend time with more than the guy I couldn't let go. Of course when the guy found out I was seeing someone, he wanted me back and all that but the new guy treated me so well that I just couldn't see going back to him. So that's my suggestion - put yourself out there, try to distance yourself from the guy as much as you can and it will work out. :)